Focus is a central part of what each person is. If I am sitting at my desk, focused on my work, I am not reading the news, watching TV, sleeping, out with my spouse, playing with my children, committing a crime, etc. If I am very intelligent, I may be able to think about a couple or several things in depth at one time, perhaps even do a couple of things at once if they are near. But for the most part I am limited to what I am actually doing or thinking. So if I am focused on doing things and thinking things that help other people, make me happy and benefit me as well, I should find my existence fulfilling, and my surrounding world should be getting better.

If I am focused on things that harm other people, I may be happier but my surrounding world is suffering. I may feel a sense of power to be able to inflict the hurt, but eventually I will find I am destroyed. If I am thinking unhappy thoughts or having to do things I dislike, I will feel unhappy.

What is needed is to be able to know how to shift away from the unhappy thoughts and unpleasant requirements. "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music may be an oversimplified remedy, but the concept is worth holding in the middle of unhappiness. Some would say that burying unhappiness is to live in denial. If a loved one dies, the people who held that person dear need some time to mourn, but the reality is that the person is no longer alive. Accepting this reality makes it possible to actively pursue happier thoughts and climb out of the depths of anguish. If one is suffering in an antagonistic relationship, the hurt that comes with the antagonism is not something to be prolonged. The root of the antagonism needs to be aired and either resolved or let the relationship dissolve. If a person is doing work that is too stressful, the physical and mental damage will eventually catch up. If jobs were all fairly equal in pay and the person knew what other jobs were available that had less stress, the person would then be able to shift out of the stress and preserve himself. The same can be said of a person finding her work too boring or unchallenging.